Am I the only one who didn’t know this?
We’ve all heard of fight or flight, and maybe you also know of freeze. (Picture a bunny motionless in the grass, hoping the perceived threat passes.) That makes sense to me.
But what about the term, fawn? I kept hearing people talk about a fawn response, and I assumed it was just another name for freezing. Because that’s what a fawn does when mom’s away. It freezes, right?
Ah-ha! Makes sense now, doesn’t it?
Nope. 🙄
Turns out, fawning isn’t about hiding, it’s about people pleasing.
It’s a reflex response to smooth things over, avoid conflict, and stay safe by being likable.
And ohhhhh boy, does that hit home. Like a reflexive, Yes, I’ll be there, before I even check my calendar.
I started thinking about how many times in the past I said yes when I didn’t mean it.
Or offered help before I even asked myself if I had the bandwidth.
Or over-explained something to avoid making someone feel uncomfortable, even if it made me uncomfortable.
This kind of behavior is not being nice. It’s codependence. It’s a nervous system response that is learned, usually at a young age, and then becomes an unconscious coping mechanism.
Yet, just a little understanding of the situation makes all the difference. You no longer have to beat yourself up over these people-pleasing habits. Instead you can edit them.
Whether you’re writing a book or rewriting your inner script, awareness is the first step. Once you recognize an unwanted pattern, you are then free to choose differently—that’s when you become the editor of your own story.
Have you noticed a fawn response in your own life?
Tell me in the comments or email me. I’d love to know if and how it’s shown up for you.
Xo Tashai
P.S. I write about this kind of stuff, personal growth, behavior patterns, and how to rewrite your own story. You can browse my books and other tools all right here if you’re curious.
P.P.S. If you’re working on shifting old patterns (like fawning) and want to build steadier habits that actually support you, my Life-Mastering Habit Tracker can help. It’s simple, flexible, and designed to work with your real life, not against it. Check it out here